" You must have had a bowl of dumbass?"

"you are so ugly it looks like your face was on fire and out with a fork"

" Go play romance the sheep"

"Assclown"

"Pull out your lower lip over your head and swallow"

 

And i forgot the grand daddy of them all
















"Clear space"- Nic

 

Ezekiel963: i have to write an Essey on If you could invent something, what would it be and why?
PuNkDrUm4eVeR1: mechanical girl so i wouldnt have to try to get pussy

 

a friend after getting dissed by some chicks he was trying to pick up "whatever.... you're like a 4"

a retarded kid who rushed passed me in the line at a rest stop
"my brain is scared... i think i feel the poop coming"

 

fitness instructor at my gym:


"Come on ladies now squeeze those balls between your legs as hard as you can!! I need this!!"

 

my math teacher last year said "you all can just look up here while i work it" haha the whole class started laughing and she got mad

 

This must be one of the top quotes of all time. Thanks, I needed that laugh today.

 

Not Stock tonight: "So Kevin, found a job yet?"

Ok, well it was funny to me

 

SignfcntOthr: How's the weather in Ghonereia?
Crated0g: hot

why is the fat kid always the first one out in dodge ball

Women are so damn complicated....like a Japanese VCR or something

Never trust something that bleeds for 7 days and doesnt die

The drunk guy that yells obcenities and calls me son, really is my father

If she was a guy she might have kicked my ass

You just got to throw the bone out to her and reel it in and see if she grabs on to it

 

"Yeah, I got an IP address, AOL gives it to me." -- lil' Kev from TCM.