iHeartTouge

I recently took in an old friend who is having a problem with drugs. I've been doing all I can to help him. Taking him to NA, AA, and court meetings. But they have proved useless. I opened my wallet today to see $160+ missing and my credit card. I just canceled that card to find over $100 of charges from him on it. Had I not known him for 15+ years, I'd press charges immediately and send his ass to jail. He's out of my house tomorrow to a rehab clinic. This wont be the first time he's gone to rehab. The first time did not work. I would love to use some good old fashion physical force to get him straight, but thats looked down upon apparently.

What I'm asking is, does anyone have any experience (first hand or not) with a successful rehab or detox center in the Richmond/Glen Allen area? Hopefully with at least a single month required. He's going to Shin something or other first thing tomorrow. I don't know the full name. I've been too pissed off to listen to him. If anyone has any other suggestions, please let me know. Thanks.

I know for a fact there is a person with a S12 who can chime in. I hope you do. You can PM me if you feel better that way.


If you have nothing to contribute, kindly fuck off.

Southwade

Honestly, he sounds like he doesn't want to learn... jail time might wake him up

iHeartTouge

As much as I want to say you're wrong, I think you really are right. Its just tough to do that to someone who I've known for so long.

psu54

can i be youre friend i need some money

iHeartTouge

You can be my friend if you got some nice DSL's. Otherwise, craigslist.

Frost

You can't fix a person; regardless of how much you'd like to. ONLY they can fix themselves. Rehab doesn't fix anyone, it's just a structure for the weak-minded individuals who will not stop on their own and have the strong need to place the blame somewhere other than themselves (which is where it belongs).

Ultimately, his problem isn't even his substance, but his extreme lack of empathy and respect for the people around him. I don't care what kind of narcotic "problem" he has. If he has stolen from you, he clearly does not value the friendship as you do, nor does he have even a base level of respect for you.

Call the police over the theft (or consider it your last gift to an ex-friend) and wash your hands of him.

I have years of experience with this matter (in case you wondered).

laserspeeddemon

I volunteer at a drug rehabilitation group on the weekends or "did" until my life become full of crap that has been overwhelming me. Haven't been back in about a month. Being around people with addictions, I found two MAJOR factors to those that are successfully recovering (I say recovering, because you never really fully recover) from those that aren't.

1) Like Frost said, they have to WANT to change. You can't make them change. The only thing I think you could do is turn your back on him. Hopefully with enough people turning their backs on him he will realize that he addiction is destroying his relationships and his life. If you don't you are pretty much enabling him.

2) PM me for details. If I mention it, it will probably dirty up your thread.

I'll keep you and your friend in my prayers, brother.

ufctapout

Sadly, I agree with this post.

I've lost two family members to addiction and now have severe anxiety from dealing with all that shit.

The one thing I truly learned is that you can't help someone that doesn't want help. You can put in 110% of your effort every day and night and get them set up with meetings, counselors, rehabs, etc, but if they're just going through the motions to please their friends and family, they're not going to get better. They need to crave a better life free of drugs/alcohol (or whatever it may be) and they need to fight until they reach their goal.

I agreed with the "they just need some good prison time" mentality until it didn't do shit for either my mother or my brother. Unfortunately, some people go to jail and are surrounded by bad influences who they then network with and it leads to even worse shit once they get out.

I wish I could give you so good advice man but honestly, addiction is a hell of a thing. He needs to have an epiphany of some sort and get out of his trance.

I put alot of blood/sweat/tears trying to save my mom but ultimately I had to make a DNR decision when I was 19. Addiction is a true sickness and some people (up for debate) just can't overcome it. Sorry to babble!

Big Sexy

Like southwade said, jail time /tough love might be the best bet. That's what worked for my uncle. When he found out the whole family hated his guts he reallised the blow and crack wasn't worth it and got his shit together.

-JB-

Tough love is the only cure or at least make you feel better in the long run.