You Might Be A Ricer If....

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05-24-2006, 06:37 AM

MAD_DOHC

He's like the wind

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Join Date: Feb 2006

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You Might Be A Ricer If....

-You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower.
-You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels.
-Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque.
-17" rims up front, 13" out back on your FWD.
-You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.
-You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission
-DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for.
-Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts.
-A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme.
-Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel well going in from the side.
-The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months...
-Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1."
-Your paint job is from the WRONG end of the color spectrum.
-You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender.
-You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them.
-You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.
-Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear...
-Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling."
-You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
-You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings.
-Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light...
-The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod work long before the actual gauges are hooked up.
-You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds!
-You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot.
-You install clear corner and brake lights.
-You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses.
-You ever put neon on the bottom of your car, and then busted it on the first speed bump you went over.
-You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match
-If your rear spoiler is taller then you are.
-You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE!
-If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod you’ve done to your engine yet.
-Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings.
-EVERY car in your class has a turbo pushing double digits worth of boost.
-You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang
-You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system.
-You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette.
-The automatic version of your car runs 2 seconds slower in the 1/4mile.
-If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car does.
-You think the Del Sol is a sports car...
-A torque converter does NOTHING for your car.
-You think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance
-If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque
-If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP.
-If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights.
-If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you just installed doubled your horsepower or took 2 or more seconds off of your E/T.
-Your baseball cap is always on backwards when you drive (the first sign of mental retardation, wearing your clothes backwards... BE).
-You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai...
-If you removed your side view mirrors and put them at the TOP of the door / window frame.